SomThinWikid
I agree John....so it has been changed.
2005-11-17

John Ashleigh
You say you're tired of phony smiles,
that seem to go on for miles,
and false laughter,
boy what are you after.

I notice you, but you don't see me,
to your heart I may just hold the key.
You say I am gorgeous, sexy and fine,
but when will you let me make you mine?

Tell me what you're looking for,
I really want to know,
because what you're doing and saying just don't flow.

You say you want something thats true
so love you can feel,
Well I am here -
and I am real.

Maybe this structure would be a little more easier to read? Either way - it is a very nice poem, and does express fully what you want. Presentation is also a good point to think about, my friend.

:D
2005-11-17

penfold18
This is well written you are almost forced into reading it rap fashion by your own momentum, clever but nice.
2005-11-10