I can't figure it out
One minute I want to admit my feelings
then I can't force them out
everything remains logical and sorted out
I'm mystified and my mind goes blank
There's something about him, the way he knows the things I don't
He constantly leaves me wondering what's on his mind
It would be good to know what is there, if anything
To keep from the waste of several thoughts
That spin around in my head
Like it would never happen between us
I once heard that the people that you supposedly know the best
Are the ones that surprise you the most
I need a simple answer
But the uncertainty never covers the feelings
Maybe it's the way he always knows what to say,
How his opinions, so more transgressive than my own, overwhelm me
But my own agreeance does nothing
We're so alike that we're different
So strange that we're comparatively normal
So complicated that we're easy to understand
So modest that we're egotistical
Such intense perplexity
How he seems to look past the hesitation and self-consciousness
As if it's not even there
But would he overlook this if he knew
How I felt about him?
I try to make sense of it...and I can't
I have such a desire to not make a disaster out of it
The anticipation grows more and more as the days pass
Like winter
first it sparkles on the frigid ground after the first snowfall
When everything is untouched, in its place
Then it slowly melts away, making the grass visible as spring comes
to blossom the air
It comes and goes
but still, I become resentful of what isn't there...
What everyone else seems to have
Everything looks fake and unwelcoming
It never ends

Poetry by Jess W.
Read 909 times
Written on 2009-11-18 at 01:22

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Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
A very interesting piece of writing that brought much to mind of my own place within relationships. The glaring point from my perspective has to do with the issue of power. We can become so overwhelmed in the presence of another that this often leads to a loss of who we truly are - a loss of power or conscious self regulation. This might explain the mystifications that occur in your mind. Try and stay in touch with your essence if you can and you will surely make the best out of any circumstance that life presents you. And if you actually work out how to do this, could you please let me in on the secret. : )