far

icy cold rain blurs
the red light
as wiper blades
tap and tick

oncoming beams
quickly flash across
tear-stained
cheeks and
pass

one errand
grows to hours
on winding
barren roads

the missing ache
throbs
endlessly droning
wheels on pavement

all i can see
is straight ahead
where you're
ever so close

and needlessly far







Poetry by Gretchen Hunter
Read 2234 times
Written on 2010-03-30 at 17:34

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Peter J. Kautsky
wonderful, really evokes emotion and trasports the reader
2010-06-14


Achernar
A most poignant write... very moving and well done. A great use of short lines here, which is not really so easy to do successfully. Loved it!
2010-05-31


NicholasG
This is special! I definitely enjoyed the vivid rendering.
Thank you,
Nick
2010-05-30


Rob Graber
A vivid write! The picture is so strongly painted metaphorically, that stanza 4's simile phrasing ("like wheels on pavement") falls on my ear as incongruously weak. One alternative would be simply to delete "like." Just a thought; what do you think?
2010-05-25