From a misheard conversation lol

~L.~



Karma's Spirit



Alone; in strength,
companionship wanes in the end,
for you bit the bitter fruit of betrayal;
as what happens, when you follow blindly,
"friends" like a trend.

The spirit of Karma;
is something to fear,
for it keeps a list;
like Santa, of good and bad,
and YOUR deeds MAY be targeted in ANY year.

10/12/2011




Poetry by liz munro The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 715 times
Written on 2012-01-15 at 02:21

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Brian Oarr
I find this a very uneven poem, Liz, which has sufficeint merit to warrant a re-write one of these days.

Lines like "'friends' like a trend" and "The spirit of Karma is something to fear, for it keeps a list" are wonderful, but the metaphor of "bitter fruit of betrayal" strikes me as cliched.

Excellent to turn an overheard conversation into verse ... something I need to consider in my own work.

Seriously, re-write this. You owe it to your art.

Brian
2012-01-15