| Go with gusto
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2026-05-31
I love the sentiment, said with humor, makes for a pretty poem
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| Have a trophy
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2026-05-31
Amen
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| Pelicans Flight
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2026-05-31
A difficult form performed well. Kudos.
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| Daggers
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2026-05-31
Powerful powerful piece, one I resonate with deeply.
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| Spin The Race
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2026-05-31
Ooh i love your take on the villanelle. masterfully done.
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| sanctuary
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2026-05-31
a wonderful melding of musing and ruminating making for a quietly powerful poem. You just keep getting better.
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| as if - passive
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2026-05-31
“ the world around me is the condition
of my survival”
Damn what a line. Good one.
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| disappeared
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2026-05-31
Wow, what an ending
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| Indentations
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2026-05-31
“ As light punctures
through kitty claw holes”
Is an inspired phrase. Bravo!
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| Forever Yours
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2026-05-30
A beautiful poem
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| Had to say something
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2026-05-30
A-fucking-men. Amazing.
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| Backward Carriage
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2026-05-30
You are a poet of observance. Good poem.
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| the Everests don't exist
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2026-05-30
Simple yet delicious. Good write.
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| ONE SMALL PARADISE
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2026-05-30
Oooof the whole poem was just a set up to that wonderful ending couplet wasn’t it? Fabulous, absolutely fabulous.
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| consul, consultant, consultation
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2026-05-30
What a journey of a poem
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| the journalist
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2026-05-30
A beautiful fragment.
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| Conversations no 6
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2026-05-30
Hillarious!
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| Pillars
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2026-05-30
Parallaxed to past is an inspired phrase. Great coinage.
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| THIS WOMAN - FARARGE TRUMP HITLER
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2026-05-30
Hitlers everywhere for those with eyes to see.
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| The Dive
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2026-05-30
Oh wow, I like this. However, the ending hints that it’s not yet ended. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I want more.
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| THORT THORTS THINKING
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2026-05-30
Nice
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| poem's manifesto
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2026-05-30
I like this one. The last line especially. The subversion of a manifesto, entirely.
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| Afar
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2026-05-30
Amen, man.
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| Momentum
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2026-05-30
I love the movement in this. The end though is a bit too abstract. I’d love if it was grounded by an image. A visceral one at that.
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| POETRY IS STRANGE
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2026-05-30
Despite it all, you write. In spite it all, you’re a poet.
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| THE FASE - RECANITAN
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2026-05-30
Brilliantly opaque!
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| Socializing
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2026-05-30
A brilliant subversion. What if what if what if!
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| Matters matters
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2026-05-30
And winter?
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| The Second Wave
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2026-05-30
Amazing triolet. I’m glad you liked it enough to use it.
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| One journey
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2026-05-28
I love the shape of this poem. It begins in abstraction, expands and then ends in another abstract expansion.
The only critique I have, if I may be so bold, is in:
The journey of wood
turning into a spoon
the journey of a tree formed
to the journey of a utensil
The third and fourth line seem redundant.
Aside from that, good work as always.
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| late cup
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2026-05-28
Another fine poem! You've settled into this style well.
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| Carry-On
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2026-05-28
Wow, two amazing poems back to back! The conceit here is so refreshingly modern but handled with all the poise and power of a classical poet, a la Donne. The detail and the tactile imagery is what elevates this poem for me. And the ending! Bravo bravo bravo.
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| Swallowed
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2026-05-28
One of your best yet. The interruptions of No and Correct are masterful and masterfully done. I am in awe of this poem. Good job.
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| Triolet for Terry
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2026-05-28
Fabulous
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| THE WOODEN BOAT (LINE CHANGES MADE)
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2026-05-27
A more image driven piece than your usual fare. Good one.
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| EDUCATAN
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2026-05-27
All of life is spent learning whether you want to or not
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| WORDS
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2026-05-27
Lead where though? That’s the question
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| LEADERS OF TOMORROW'S, SURVIVORS OF TODAY.
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2026-05-27
It’s tough. My country goes through something similar.
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| THE WORLD
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2026-05-27
Oooh the ending here is killer. Love this.
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| Confession
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2026-05-27
As a poem this is good. But as an opening poem for a book of poems, this is amazing.
It does a great job of setting the tone. I love it!
And that final couplet, recalling Plath, is a banger ending.
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| M A D H O U S E
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2026-05-27
I don't get the punchline but:
She was all filled up
by body chemistry.
But
completely
blind
about
reality.
is a banger poem all by itself.
I really liked the body chemistry bit.
Another amazing poem.
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| The directionless direction
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2026-05-27
Such a japanese Koan aspect to thus while still being Western. The universality of the message alongside the very YOU style of the poem meld so perfectly to create a fine piece of verse. Nice one.
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| the keel
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2026-05-27
I don't know much about sailing or even what a keel is, but I like this.
On a pure sound basis, sail sounds so soft and breezy while keel sounds hard and earthy.
That's how I'm reading this poem.
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| Loving Her
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2026-05-27
This is so amazing! I am honored that you tried, and succeeded, in this form. Thank you for blessing us.
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| at the park
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2026-05-27
Oh wow, this is one of your best and one of the best poems I've read here on the bay in quite some time! Fucking amazing.
also, it's ridiculous how you've made this form your own.
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| petering out
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2026-05-27
This is fucking amazing! The rhyme is awesome, of course, but the meter, the rhythm, is stellar! I love love love it!
One thing I'd like to point out is that while you used rhyme and meter, your voice still remains and that's what I was getting at! Play with structure but make it your own and you've done exactly that.
Kudos!
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| Wasted life
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2026-05-27
I echo OTP's comments but there are some critiques I would like to share.
First of all, the rhyming. For me, I think rhyming should be in service to the poem and not vice versa. The best rhymes are those that feel so natural to the poem that you don't even notice it. A personal favorite example of that is Dockery and Son by Philip Larkin. In this poem though, the rhyming seems labored. For example, the first line: "Alone in my deathbed I lay" which sounds archaic and different than the conversational and modern tone of the rest of the poem. I'd like it if you worked on that a bit.
Basically, if you want to rhyme, make it seamless.
Also, "mundane dance (allegory for life)" I don't like this added explanation. You should either trust the reader more or ingrain what you want to mean in the poem so it is undeniable.
There's a great poem here but it needs a lot of cutting.
Keep working, my friend!
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| The Same Sky
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2026-05-26
One thing I like about your poems is how they begin in medias res.
Reading them feels like being placed right in the middle of an ongoing life.
Remarkable! I don’t think anyone’s ever written like that. Here or elsewhere.
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| T H A T ´s L I F E
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2026-05-26
Dreams excluded
Ha!
Nice one
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| waiting for a turn
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2026-05-26
Such an amazing poem, made all the more so by that final stanza. Masterful work.
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from Nepal