Just how I feel, or have been feeling for the last month....hard to get your head around people and harder to accept their choices...


Life is cruel...

I don't know how to cope anymore
How to go on width my life
You've left me alone here,
where my heart used to be
there's an empty space,
I feel cold & empty!

You used to hold me,
keep me safe...
Why did you do it?
How could you kill yourself?

When I'm alone
I have these disturbing thoughts
about you,
what I can do to kill myself
how we can be together again...

I can't!
I'm too scared to take my own life,
I can't end it for you,
even if I mess you so much
& wish to be with you once more.

My dreams are filled with you,
you tease me,
and run away!
I follow you to a cliff
and you want me to jump!

I never jump
I just can't do it,
even if I'll love you to death
& you were THE ONE,
I have to go on with my life,
WITHOUT YOU!



Poetry by Surei
Read 465 times
Written on 2005-10-16 at 09:19

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John Ashleigh
Width - With.
I never jump - I'll never jump.

I dislike the capitals, it feels as if the whole poem is personally attacking the reader, and so I dont find it as effective. The strcuture seems to be in place and dense enough to give a 4.

I find that you if you used more metaphorical language in your poem to keep the reader guessing, then you would progress onto a better poet. Good work though, 4!
2005-10-16