Specially when I'm writing about him


I like what I write




I like what I write

And this lovely poem is only for you

Baby I'm telling you tonight

I only love you



In the bottom of my heart

I gave you my true love

You are the first & the last

I love you so much



Each single day & night

You are my daylight

Though the sun & the moon are bright

You are everything I want



Because whenever,

I express my love for you

It makes me feel nice

Specially when I'm writing about you

I like what I write






Poetry by Zainab
Read 830 times
Written on 2006-12-11 at 09:15

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tony legba
I like what I write: I write what I like.
The thoughts, Zainab, have honesty.
Four line stanzas work well.
If there is a weaker line it is "Because whenever." For me, the final stanza would benefit from being 4 lines like the rest.
I understand from the poem that you always feel like this, so the "Because whenever" isn't really needed.
The poem has a lyrical quality to it.
Perhaps, if you sang it, you might want to revise some lines: there is almost a lullaby within the words, which could be brought out...the lullaby effect would go well with "Baby", your love.
What do you think?
2006-12-13


Saga
A wonderful dedication and devotion!!!

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2006-12-12


Amanda K
that was lovely. Zainab.

love,

Language: 5
Format: 4
Mood: 5
Overall: 4
2006-12-12


salem
yes but sometimes
the others must like what we write
thanx
hugsss

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2006-12-11


Morpheus
This is sweet, and refreshing. Spoken from the soul, and written to delight!
2006-12-11


Zainab
I completely disagree with you

I felt this poem i did a good work

And my judging in my other site for everyone who voted was this!

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 4
2006-12-11



This poem is too flat for the pompousity untone. try and twist it a little, maybe then it will really appear as a poem. Right now you've written a prose in line it's not even a free verse.

Language: 2
Format: 2
Mood: 3
Overall: 2
2006-12-11


Teala
Ah...romantic and sweet--a very nice poem!!
2006-12-11