F.i.in.e Moods

-  only know about it 'cause apparently this is newsworthy and everyone's talking about it on the Internet... what's being discussed about it is, oh I don't know, a lot of unrelated discussion points that make me go hm'kay...

Hm, yeah, he defended

His wife.  I suppose

That's something... hm.

But hold up a minute,

A knock in the face, on

A public stage, no less,

Hardly constitutes

An act of defense, no?

If he'd been my husband

Acting like a cromagnon

Like that, I wouldn't be

Flattered or honored, I'd

Be seriously embarrassed!

And then simply disgusted!

There's no part of me that

Would admire it in the least.

The discourse this moment

Has been generating is

Completely off-base.

About Black women being insulted

Publicly, or A man defending his

Wife's condition and honor, or A

Comedian being knowingly cruel...

What are they talking about?!

It's easy to put a spin on

Any situation, and oh, how

Humans love to do so...

But the reality of it,

The guy snapped,

And completely and

Totally inappropriately

Resorted to dominance.

Imposing his displeasure

About a comedian's words, he

Turned to physical aggression.

Is there ever a good time

To use this method in order

To resolve your unhappiness?

And that's the issue.  It doesn't

Matter what interpretations

Or reasons he might have had,

He lost it and assaulted someone.

There's no pride to be had in this

Nor any justifications to be found.

The reactions are mind-numbing,

The discussions not or ever on point,

It feels like a lot of people are losing

The plot on social matters & manners.

All excuses are good, apparently.

It's all very worrisome, in my view.

Come on

Go ahead

Kill me

Some more

Come on

Don't hold back

Give it your all

Finish me

Come on

Get on with it

Don't spare

All cruelty

Come on

Satisfy yourself

You know 

You want to

So Much Nothing

- perspective:  tant de rien en retour, cela laisse sa marque à un moment donné... ne sont pas mes pensées personnelles... elles appartiennent à un personnage...

perspective:  so much nothing in return, that leaves its mark after a while...

not my personal thoughts... they belong to a character...

Il y a très peu d'intérêt,

très peu d'appréciation,

très peu de plaisir,

c'est à se demander

pourquoi je me donne

autant de peine pour si peu.

There is very little interest,

very little appreciation,

very little pleasure,

one has to ask themselves

why one gives themselves

so much grief for so little.

Je les respecte, c'est certain,

mais ce sentiment n'est

que rarement réciproqué.

Il n'y a que moi qui est

toujours là pour eux et ils

ne s'en rendent pas compte.

I respect them, that's for sure,

but that feeling is

only rarely reciprocated.

There's only me who is

always there for them and they

don't realize it.

C'est le temps pour moi

de réévaluer mes priorités,

redéfinir mes attentes,

et conserver mon temps,

car de continuer ainsi

n'a aucun sens du tout.

It's time for me

to reevaluate my priorities,

redefine my expectations,

and conserve my time,

'cause to carry on like this

makes no sense at all.

Le très peu de tout est

assez pour convaincre

que le temps est venu

pour moi de choisir

une nouvelle direction.

Ils m'ont eu à l'usure,

The very little of everything is

enough to convince

that the time has come

for me to choose

a new direction.

They got me to get worn out,

en prenant tout ce qui me

restait pouvant passer

pour du bien dans la vie.

En plus, ils réussissent

à se sentir insultés quand

je ne suis plus capable

by taking everything that

was left able to pass

for some good in life.

To top it off, they manage

to feel insulted when

I can't do it anymore

ou si j'ose le mentionner

que ces actions sont 

notablement déplaisantes.

On ne peut jamais gagner

avec un monde si insouciant

et centré sur son nombril.

or if I dare to mention

that those actions are

notably unpleasant.

You can never win

with a world so unaware

and focused on its navel.

J'ai fait du mieux que je

pouvais, mais manifestement,

cela n'aura jamais été assez.

Ils m'ont eu à l'usure, tu vois,

ont pris tout ce qui restait

qu'il n'y a plus rien, c'est fini.

I did the best that I

could, but evidently,

that'd have never been enough.

They got me to get worn out, you see,

took everything which was remaining

that there's nothing left, it's done.

- taking my intentions out of why I wrote this, what do these words strike in mind for you? Anything?

think we're drifting apart further

from what it used to be about
for feelings, views have evolved
and the need has evidently shifted

think there's not much left
to expand upon, or to find

ways to explain or further
describe, it's all been covered

think it's best to not insist
when you find yourself here
it surely means something to
take into account, intuitions

think we should end this thinking
'cause it never leads us very far
perhaps it'll come back some day
'til then, gotta take it for what it is

There's blood here

Lots of it

No matter though

What's done is done

A relief

Will be soon

For me (at last)

For you (in time)

It's coming now

Slow, fast, for sure

All's okay

It'll be fine

It's been the wish

For countless years

And now is it

But don't be sad

There was no other

Possible outcome

Best to face the truth

Let it do its thing

- « la chichane » is an argument, a fight... 

sincèrement désolée,

j'ai perdu mon calme

et je n'ai pas bien réagis.

sincerely sorry,

I lost my cool

and didn't react very well. 

les mots m'échappaient,

les nerfs s'énervaient,

j'ai été emporté d'impatience.

words were escaping me,

nerves were being irritated,

I was taken by impatience.

c'est juste que tu n'avais pas

bien choisis ton moment

pour passer tes critiques.

it's only that you hadn't

well chosen your moment

to pass your criticisms. 

j'avais besoin d'empathie,

pas des reproches à propos

de mes façons de faire,

I needed empathy,

not reproaches about

my ways of doing things, 

comme si ce qui se passait

avait été causé par quelque

chose que j'avais fait.

as if what was going on

had been caused by

anything I'd done.

c'était très mal placé,

et c'était plutôt vexant,

surtout de me faire prodiguer

it was very inappropriate,

and rather vexing,

especially to be given

des leçons à un tel moment,

comme si j'étais une enfant

insouciante en besoin d'un papa.

lessons at such a time,

as if I were an unaware

child in need of a dad.

il n'y a pas beaucoup qui réussit

à m'insulter dans cette vie,

mais hier, c'était la cerise su'l'sundae.

there isn't much that manages

to insult me in this life,

but yesterday, that was the cherry on the sundae.

- on the other side of "kids say the darndest things"... parents have their moments too...

The small boy was sitting at the kitchen table

Having supper with his mom and older brother.

He was making a racket of mouth noises while

Chewing his food, so his mother put him on notice

About how it was unpleasant for everyone around.

He stopped, of course, but in the same breath asked:

"Ok, but your boyfriend does it all of the time,

And you never say anything to him about it?"

His mom calmly agreed with him and replied:

"True, but it's only 'cause he's a grown man

And I'm not his mother - I'm yours."

The two boys looked at one another

And carried on eating in their usual way

Without all of the noise that was making their

Mom's ears curl - case closed, in parent's view.

Not coming too easily

How the very best part

Would disappear suddenly

Without a reason to start

It's always been about loving

Through each step to be there

Never in all wild imaginings

Could it be expected fair

This cut off remains unexplained

And not a single word is said

It's enough to torment a heart in pain

Never knowing why our love fled

- childhood memory when I was 4... mother is American, but everything is French in Québec and politically tense about language (more so in those days), so I only knew French until the age of 12... 

I remember as a small child

The day I first heard English

Spoken between two kids

How shocked I was about this

'Cause I thought the only one

Who spoke funny like that

Was mom when she was upset!

The feeling comes in strongly,

It would appear you're fed up

With me for some reason.

Well, if that's the actual case,

Console yourself with the truth

No way are you as fed up with me

As I am with myself...