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Current Mood: qui sait...
Current Music: "Crash Course in Brain Surgery" - Metallica
NOTE: 2022 07 13 08H10 EST Ramblings 612 -
Ramblings 612
Written 2022-07-14
Il n'y a plus rien à dire.
En réalité, l'intérêt s'est
Perdu autant pour eux
Que pour moi, et le
Tout est devenu inutile.
There is nothing more to say.
In truth, the interest has been
Lost as much for them
As for me, and the whole of
This has become useless.
Il ne reste rien de ceci
Qui berce mon coeur ou
Qui touche mon esprit,
Donc il n'y a plus de sens
De continuer ce chemin.
There is nothing left of this
That gently rocks my heart or
That touches my spirit,
So there is no longer any sense
To continue this path.
Ils passent leur temps
À se contredire, et moi,
J'en suis vraiment tannée
D'essayer de les suivre
Ou de subir les impacts.
They spend their time
Contradicting themselves, and me,
I'm really fed up
Of trying to follow them
Or of enduring the impacts.
En plus, je n'ai plus rien
À dire, plus de mots, plus
De raisons, c'est fini, mort.
Je n'ai plus envie d'accepter
Qu'on me niaise non plus.
Adding to that, I have nothing more
To say, no more words, no more
Reasons, it's done, dead.
I no longer feel like accepting
Being taken for an idiot either.




Current Mood: want to write in my language...
Current Music: "Careless Whisper " - Seether (WHAM! cover)
NOTE: 2022 07 06 13H13 EST Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... -
Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... (A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...)
Written 2022-07-06
c'est un grand souci pour moi
que tout va bien pour tout le monde
pas juste moi
je n'aime pas ça quand les gens
ne se sentent pas bien
c'est vraiment plus fort que moi
rough translation...
A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...
It's for me something I mind very much
that everything is going well for everyone
not just me
I don't like it when people
don't feel all right
It's for me something I really can't help




Current Mood: energy = -5 (on a scale of 1-10)...
Current Music: "Marian" - Sisters of Mercy
NOTE: 2022 07 06 09H35 EST I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry -
I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry
Written 2022-07-06
- sorry, changes without explanations always make me wonder, then worry...
Ok, you got my attention.
Maybe you'd like to tell
Me what's going on,
'Cause if you expect me
To guess, that could take
A long while to happen.
Something's obviously
Different between us,
But it came so suddenly,
And without explanation,
It's difficult to pinpoint
What may have caused it.
Was it something I said?
Or did I neglect you?
Or it's nothing like that,
You're busy taking care
Of yourself and your life?
But if you don't say...




Current Mood: evaluating my role in life, what's most important to me...
Current Music: "The Answer (slow version)" - Blue October
NOTE: 2022 07 04 10H12 EST The Happiest Part of Life for Me -
The Happiest Part of Life for Me
Written 2022-07-04
One of the things
Which brings me
The most joy,
Inner satisfaction,
And meaning,
Is when I'm able
To help or assist
When it's needed.
Something about
Being there for
Others and being
Able to be useful,
Just does it for me.
Makes me happy,
Makes me smile
When I can make
'Happy' come others'
Way in that manner.
It's good feelings
All around any time
I'm successful at
Making things nicer
For people, so this is
Definitely #1 for me.




Current Mood: overview...
Current Music: (none)
NOTE: 2022 07 01 16H00 EST End of Interviews -
End of Interviews
Written 2022-07-01
We'll get back to you
In about two weeks,
After everyone's done
With their summer vacations,
And we make sure we don't
Miss a candidate that might
Be better than you,
You understand?
But whatever our decision,
You will hear back from us.
(Silent inward sigh)
Ok, thank you very much.




Current Mood: anxiousness...
Current Music: (none)
NOTE: 2022 06 28 04H41 EST Interviews -
Interviews
Written 2022-06-28
- upcoming important job interview after passing a first interview and then a written test with the same potential employer...
Breathe, ma chère !
Just breathe!
Relax, be yourself!
That's all you can do!





scooting down to the Promenade Samuel-De Champlain (on the Boulevard Champlain by the Fleuve St-Laurent) today...
Summer is Here Obviously
Written 2022-06-25
That's where everyone's gone to
Out and about enjoying the weather
I can say I perfectly relate to that
I'm off to do the same too, tourlou




Current Mood: reflections...
Current Music: "Ohne Dich" - Rammstein
NOTE: 2022 06 23 01H08 EST Paternalistic or Not, It's Nice -
Paternalistic or Not, It's Nice
Written 2022-06-23
- with love, for J. ...
You thought it might be paternalistic,
And ever since you said that,
It's been on my mind how I'd view it
Seeing as I've never really had
Anyone as a father role in my life,
So, I really can't say I'm able to
Assess the possibility it's paternalistic.
In saying that, though, I did search
In myself to see how that angle feels,
And I came to think it's nice actually,
Especially in the context of why
It was said in the first place.
You've been by my side through
So very much over the years,
It's nice to be able to share this
Part with you, and you being happy.
It's always bothered me that I'm so
Struggling with everything of life,
And to be at this point, with you there,
Is really more than I've ever expected,
So your pride in me makes a difference.
Paternalistic it might have been, but
To me, it's a show of love I can't be
Upset about in no way at all is the truth.
Thank you for being who you are,
And for sticking by me all these years.
It's the most anyone cared to do for me, so,
No, I see nothing wrong with what you said.
It's really sweet and caring,
It makes me feel like I matter.




Current Mood: alright...
Current Music: "Deliberation" - Katatonia
NOTE: 2022 06 21 17H22 EST Explain Yourself, Please -
Explain Yourself, Please
Written 2022-06-21
That there's love,
There's no doubt,
But, m'dear, you're
Driving me crazy.
One minute warm,
The other cold,
There's no telling
What that's about.
Get around to feeling
You're throwing hints,
But, m'dear, terrible at
Guessing describes me.
And more importantly,
The reasons why you'd
Want to make me guess,
It's not a clear part either.
A lot of uncertainty
In figuring it all out,
And so, m'dear, I stand
By waiting for you.
There are so many
Contradictions one
Can work out without
Your direct input.




Current Mood: eesh...
Current Music: "Tsekkaa Ittes" - Cheek (feat. Skandaali)
NOTE: 2022 06 19 15H11 EST Obviously Not Saying My Tastes Are Better or Anything -
Obviously Not Saying My Tastes Are Better or Anything
Written 2022-06-19
Eesh... Cheek (feat. Skandaali) just
came on my 'playlist', well, it's
not really a playlist, it's actually
my complete database of all song files
I finally was able to finalize last night!
Thousands of songs collected over years.
My laptop died last year in January,
And all I had for a long while that
Year was a tablet, way too small to hold
My database of music, so I went
with very little music available to
me for what felt like an eternity.
But I have it all back now, and finding
a lot of songs I didn't know I even had.
Anyway, that Cheek song I was
on about before, it's some Finnish
rap and I really can't say that it
sounds any better in their language.
It's terrible, the appeal is completely
Lost on me, I'm afraid. It's not what
I'd call very listenable... so, yeah.
Eesh... as soon as it started, everything
In me was going "no, you don't
want to listen to that" in a most
instant fashion. It's funny that,
how music's felt differently by each.
Obviously, a friend out there enjoys
this kind of music since they sent it,
while I, on receiving it, didn't like it,
And I mean, not at all. It's terrible.




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