F.i.in.e Moods

One of the things

Which brings me

The most joy,

Inner satisfaction,

And meaning,

Is when I'm able

To help or assist

When it's needed.

Something about

Being there for

Others and being

Able to be useful,

Just does it for me.

Makes me happy,

Makes me smile

When I can make

'Happy' come others'

Way in that manner.

It's good feelings

All around any time

I'm successful at

Making things nicer

For people, so this is

Definitely #1 for me.

We'll get back to you

In about two weeks,

After everyone's done

With their summer vacations,

And we make sure we don't

Miss a candidate that might

Be better than you, 

You understand?

But whatever our decision,

You will hear back from us.

(Silent inward sigh)

Ok, thank you very much.

- upcoming important job interview after passing a first interview and then a written test with the same potential employer...

Breathe, ma chère !

Just breathe!

Relax, be yourself!

That's all you can do!

That's where everyone's gone to

Out and about enjoying the weather

I can say I perfectly relate to that

I'm off to do the same too, tourlou

- with love, for J. ... 

You thought it might be paternalistic,

And ever since you said that,

It's been on my mind how I'd view it

Seeing as I've never really had

Anyone as a father role in my life,

So, I really can't say I'm able to

Assess the possibility it's paternalistic.

In saying that, though, I did search

In myself to see how that angle feels,

And I came to think it's nice actually,

Especially in the context of why

It was said in the first place.

You've been by my side through

So very much over the years, 

It's nice to be able to share this

Part with you, and you being happy.

It's always bothered me that I'm so

Struggling with everything of life,

And to be at this point, with you there,

Is really more than I've ever expected,

So your pride in me makes a difference.

Paternalistic it might have been, but

To me, it's a show of love I can't be

Upset about in no way at all is the truth.

Thank you for being who you are,

And for sticking by me all these years.

It's the most anyone cared to do for me, so,

No, I see nothing wrong with what you said.

It's really sweet and caring,

It makes me feel like I matter.

That there's love,

There's no doubt,

But, m'dear, you're

Driving me crazy.

One minute warm,

The other cold,

There's no telling

What that's about.

Get around to feeling

You're throwing hints,

But, m'dear, terrible at

Guessing describes me.

And more importantly,

The reasons why you'd

Want to make me guess,

It's not a clear part either.

A lot of uncertainty

In figuring it all out,

And so, m'dear, I stand

By waiting for you.

There are so many

Contradictions one

Can work out without

Your direct input.

Eesh... Cheek (feat. Skandaali) just

came on my 'playlist', well, it's

not really a playlist, it's actually

my complete database of all song files

I finally was able to finalize last night!

Thousands of songs collected over years.

My laptop died last year in January,

And all I had for a long while that

Year was a tablet, way too small to hold

My database of music, so I went

with very little music available to 

me for what felt like an eternity.

But I have it all back now, and finding

a lot of songs I didn't know I even had.

Anyway, that Cheek song I was

on about before, it's some Finnish

rap and I really can't say that it

sounds any better in their language.

It's terrible, the appeal is completely

Lost on me, I'm afraid.  It's not what

I'd call very listenable... so, yeah. 

Eesh... as soon as it started, everything

In me was going "no, you don't

want to listen to that" in a most

instant fashion.  It's funny that,

how music's felt differently by each.

Obviously, a friend out there enjoys

this kind of music since they sent it,

while I, on receiving it, didn't like it,

And I mean, not at all.  It's terrible.