F.i.in.e Moods

- some people can be puzzling at times... 

What do you mean I'm not French?

Of course I am, Québec Canada

Is French, everyone speaks French

Here, it's even the law, so I don't

Know where you're coming off that

I'm not French.  Can you please

Explain your statement?  I'm curious

To find out about what leads you to

Such a bizarre conclusion.  I'm French

Whether you believe it or not, it's my

Mother tongue, it's my environment.

It's the first language I learned to

Speak and write, English came later.

So what do you mean I'm not French?

What makes you say that exactly?

This is definitely a first for me.

I've pretty much written

About it all through the

Last twenty years, some

On repeat for a long while,

'Cause it was harder to get

Through than other things.

And now, I don't often

Have the need to talk

About it anymore, they're

Just events that happened

A long time ago, things

Have finally moved on.

The bigger extreme of

Things has considerably

Improved, no longer

Terrified or paralyzed

By fear, I'm functioning.

Still, there's the flashbacks,

Those persist to this day.

Not sure if there's a way to

Stop them, but so far, it's

Not been happening for me.

I know, all of it will always

Be a part of me, it's shaped

Who I am today, so I don't

Think I'll ever be completely

Free from it, but it's ok now;

I'm still standing, carrying on.

It's proven to be challenging,

But I've made it this far...

l'amour et la joie

les plus beaux moments

de cette vie pour tous

même au travers de

toutes sortes de douleurs

une énergie réparatrice

je n'ai pas souvent vécu

mais quand j'ai eu la chance

c'était des moments mémorables

je les porte dans mon coeur

ils m'aident à passer au travers

durant les temps moins évidents

You're right, I always

Have that option, so

I should leave it at the

Back and concentrate

On other things for now.

So that's what I'm doing.

Still not clear on how my

Feelings are doing with it,

It's best that I don't spend

Time on that, for now.

I concentrate on breaking

Down my current moments, 

Live them in steps and focus

On the here and now and how

My experience feels like then.

Yesterday, I felt joy, I did.

I derive so much enjoyment

In driving my car around,

Down my favorite roads, Chemin

St-Louis and Boul Champlain.

And I felt satisfied with myself

About the work that I do,

How I'm able to help my clients,

And how I've shifted my goals to

Focus on advancing in my position.

I'm paying more attention

To how the moment is lived,

Concentrating on that for now,

Keeping the option at the back

As maybe now may not be the time.

Your words are constantly with me,

So I go back to them to get me through.

I know that you're right, and even

Though I find none of this easy,

I'm going with it 'cause I trust you.

c'est à se demander

il manque des bouts

on a pas tout entendu

de cette histoire

il y a des trous qui ne

se remplissent pas

faudrait ton aide

pour élucider l'affaire

nos interprétations sont

sûrement hors de la track

Whoa, calme-toi, l'ami

tu vas exploser, sinon

je ne connais pas ta peine

mais je vois bien qu'elle est réelle

en espérant que cette vengeance

dont tu parles ne soit pas dirigée

envers moi, car il n'y a pas

ce que tu dis, pas de racisme,

pas d'animosité contre toi,

il n'y a rien qui se passe...

ce sont tes blessures qui te jouent

un tour, l'ami, on ne t'a rien fait ici

c'est triste de te voir aussi souffrant

loins de mes souhaits de te voir ainsi

must admit that surprises me...

I'm not sure why you're sticking

around, so to speak... I'd say I'm

a bit of a mess, so that's not too

great.  Let's just say that I'm not

quite used to people doing that

in my life, it's never what happens. 

so it puzzles me a bit... I'm super

grateful that you're there, no doubt

about that... just puzzled

at the same time...  

Thanks for talking me off the ledge.

I carry your words and I try to keep

Them in mind so as to not go ahead.

I can't promise that I won't,

I wish I could, but I think

We both know it'd be a lie.

My joie de vivre is off on a hike,

My mind is being amorous with

The end, and I'm just too tired

To step into the ring to effectuate

Any sort of turn around right now.

But I think of you and the time

You always take for me even 

When I'm difficult in every way.

As to why you've not folded yet 

I'll never know, but thank you,

It's all I can say at the moment.

You're my truest friend, j't'aime.

- with rough translation...

c'est plutôt étonnant pour moi

que nous soyons assis ensemble

et que tu ne te rends pas compte

que je suis dans un état second.

it's somewhat surprising to me

that we're sitting together

and that you don't notice

that I'm in a right state.

c'est vrai que je ne te l'ai pas

dévoilé, mais il me semble assez

clair que je suis affectée, un peu

étrange que tu ne le vois pas.

it's true that I haven't

revealed it to you, but it seems pretty

clear to me that I'm affected, a bit

strange that you don't see it.

c'est sans contre-dit chose qui

me rend un peu mal à l'aise...

ça m'apparaît assez évident

que je suis au ralentie à présent.

it's without doubt something that

makes me feel a little ill at ease...

it seems to me to be pretty obvious

that I'm slow right now.

c'n'est pas mon intention de

te faire la cachette sur ces

choses, mais j'aurais pensé

que tu t'en rendrais compte.

it's not my intention to

hide these things from you,

but I would've thought

that you would notice.

je suis tellement gelée,

j'étais sûre que ça ne

passerait pas inaperçu...

mais apparemment pas.

I'm so drugged up,

I was sure it wouldn't

go unnoticed...

but apparently not.

- with rough translation... 

1, 2, 3, go

tu sais c'que tu veux

qu'est-ce qui t'arrête?

1, 2, 3, go

you know what you want

what's stopping you?

allez, 1, 2, 3, go

vas-y fort, arrête

de procrastiner

so, 1, 2, 3, go

go ahead hard, stop

procrastinating

1, 2, 3, go, l'résultat

va être l'même à la fin

alors, vas-y

1, 2, 3, go, the result

will be the same in the end

so, go ahead

1, 2, 3, go, il n'y a plus

rien qui t'en empêche

c'est c'que tu veux

1, 2, 3, go, there's nothing

more that prevents you

that's what you want

1, 2, 3, go

allez, vas-y, t'r'tiens pas

j't'assure qu'c'est l'temps

1, 2, 3, go

so, go ahead, don't hold yourself back

I assure you that it 's time