F.i.in.e Moods

- que ceux qui l'entourent... 

je dois avouer,

si les choses

continuent comme

ça, je vais développer

un complexe, là...

The Walls Have More to Say Lately...

- than those who are around...

I must admit,

if things

carry on this

way, I'll develop

a complex, là...

- my stomach is always making me burp... but I mean burp :/  I'm careful to not burp around people, but sometimes, they just come out... one of those moments... 

This happened many years ago

And the memory is as vivid.

It's the day my twelve-year old's

Friend met me for the first time.

I was alone at home,

The kids out to friends',

So I put on Death Metal

On the sound system,

Also took a shower;

You know, taking time

For me doing my own

Things in a kid-free time.

On that day, it happened

While I hadn't realized

My son and his friend were

Standing on the kitchen doormat.

I came out of the shower, towel on head,

Wearing a long-enough (thankfully!) black

Tank top with a skull print on the front,

And loudly buuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrped

On my way to my bedroom.

The music had enough volume,

But my burp was heard anyway.

This is the point, my son says,

That his friend turned to him,

And asked, "Is that your mom?"

With an air on his face that tried

To not show surprise...

My son has teased me about this -

He still says it was the funniest thing.

I keep thinking what a first impression!

Embarrassing doesn't depict it justly.

* on this day, a few things were unusual :  death metal on the sound system 'cause the kids were out at friends' for sleepovers and I had some alone time, a rare occasion; wearing a skull-print tank top I never wear which I'd quickly grabbed for my shower exit to go get dressed; and burping with people around... I can only imagine what the kid was thinking of this scene... :)

For a 'professional'

I'd say you're limited

In your views,

In your experience.

I say this 'cause I saw

Your notes of what you

Understood of what I shared

With you about my life.

My saying that I needed

To get away from what

I was doing for getting money

Isn't what you interpreted.

You jumped to the

Stereotypical conclusion

Even though I never said

Anything of the sort to you.

So now there are official

Notes in a file reporting

That I prostituted myself when

Never did that ever happen.

How do you suppose that

Makes me feel, you think?

It's a load of nonsense,

There's no way in reality.

So fed up of you 'professionals'

Creating a narrative that bears

No resemblance to my circumstances...

Get with it is all I feel like screaming.

Everything I remember,

You have no recollection...

Psychosis took you over,

Made us all try our best...

You wanted me to check

If you were in the other room...

You barked and growled at all males,

Wanted them all to disappear...

For days you unravelled

Before our eyes...

I didn't know what to do

Or how to help you in any way...

It was the most powerless

I'd ever felt in my life so far...

I tried,

Oh I tried...

I don't think I could make a

Single difference to your distress...

To this very day,

I don't think I ever did...

It isn't because I know I can't

That my mind will stop itself

From devising every possible

Way of attaining it successfully

That's just going to go around

Be tossed, bumped, and flipped

It'll get as creative as it can

And I'll vicariously live them all

The intriguing part about

This situation you created

Is that you're the one who

Treated her like absolute crap

Yet now you're the insulted one

'Cause she called you out on it.

How does that even make sense?

One by one

They disappear

Without a word

All I'm left with

Are unresolvable

Hypotheticals

That go around

Without a possible

Exit to an answer

It's consuming

To never know

What this is about

- the quote is verbatim...

When I was studying Recording Arts,

My teacher used to say all of the time:

"Shit in.  Shit out."

To point out that technology is great,

But it doesn't perform miracles either.

Some twenty years ago, 

And I still hear him say it.

- yeah not much going on in my life at the moment... but I take any little happy that comes... 

It started late afternoon Friday

Our Internet went out

Again for the same problem

As it always is every time.

So we made the decision

To change our DSL service

And go with cable from here;

Bell's infrastructure's crap.

So enough was enough.

Hopefully cable will prove

To be our final resolution.

But now we have to wait;

Activation will only be possible

In seven to ten business days.

Fortunately, Internet returned Sunday;

Bell must've fixed it over the weekend.

We also replaced my laptop's

HD which died last January.

So been doing installations to

Rebuild my work environment.

(Also, transfer my music DB!

Finally!  I've been out so long

'Cause tablets aren't exactly

Very spacious little devices...)

Another exciting part about it

Is that our dev environment

Will be able to be directly

Accessed by all our computers.

(Oh yes, we also physically

Installed our external drive,

Our dev environment, into a 

Tower to protect it from damage!)

So no more headless servers,

Or software to remotely access

The main desktop of our system.

It's just simplified, normalized

All of our systems in one shot.

No more different OS's between

Each computer, we're all on the same;

No more fenagling to make things work!

So huge Yay's, 

We're very pleased.

We've been wanting to do

That for so very long.

So although it didn't start out

Too greatly, the weekend

Nonetheless yielded positive

Results, and that's always satisfying.

- service providers... more like annoyance and grief providers...

my ISP's DSL service is on our main telephone company's infrastructure... and that infrastructure keeps posing Internet access problems at my place (been out for 3 days now, waiting for ISP's tech tomorrow, but he's not the tel co's tech... more days expected sigh).

So I have to connect via Hot Spot to get on Internet, but that is from my phone's data plan. I don't have a big one 'cause I don't use my phone frequently to browse the net. So I had to call my cell phone provider to clarify my account's data usage stats, which didn't look correct at all, before continuing to Hot Spot ... sorry, rant...

Yes, yes. No need to keep
Reminding me about your
Amazing online services;
Quite aware of their existence.

Websites and online services
Aren't a new thing, why push
It to clients calling you?
They fffhm know it's there!

So it goes to reason that
The call's for something else.
And forty minutes of being told
About it is really annoying.

Considering the endless waiting,
There's no mistaking no one
Wishes to answer your call;
They want you to go online.

As if the client's being obstinate.
As if he, she really wants to spend
All this time attempting to make
Contact by way of a phone call.

My current circumstances?
No internet access at the moment.
Obviously didn't occur to them
That is a possible client reality.

So two days of attempts,
Ten minutes on hold and dropped,
Then 59 minutes with no answer.
Today, 30 minutes and got through.

Call me old-fashioned,
But that is hardly acceptable as
An approach to customer service.
With all the money they make,

This is nothing other than insulting.
If it were just one company like that...
But unfortunately, it's all of them!
And apparently, we're stuck with it?

* while on hold during that 59-min wait for nothing, and despite the recording on a loop telling me about them, I received a text from my cell phone provider telling me all about their online services to diminish my wait time... hm didn't impress me much, I can say...